How Do You Become an Impactful Leader; LIVE IT!
The quest to become an impactful leader requires one to examine the nature versus nurture discussion. Simultaneously, we must analyze leadership styles of great leaders in business, the military, athletics, politics and social justice advocates. We read volumes of documents in hopes of finding a fool proof approach to a complex phenomenon. Yet, I think we can assert that if we adhere to this adage it will move us closer to our goal. “Lead by example. If all else fails use words.”
Several years ago, I recall reading a document that stated, “There are two ways to lead, by fear or procrastination.” We can immediately ascertain that leading by fear has its positives and negatives. The positives are quite evident in short term production. The unit is driven and pushed to achieve because they are motivated by a perceived threat of losing their job or a tongue lashing designed to humiliate and debase. The tyrannical approach often has a shelf life because people ultimately resist. It breeds inaction, stifles creativity and severs communication. The entire organization will stand in opposition to this style the minute that things go awry. You will find short term effectiveness, but long term it proves to be counterproductive in most cases.
Procrastination is a pervasive inaction which will breed distrust. Leaving subordinates without a vision is fool hearty and reckless. The subversive delay of making a decision and setting the tone for those you are leading is poisonous. The confidence of the unit in their leader will erode in a short period of time. You will invariably find one of your subordinates stepping in to fill the void whether you like it or not.
In regard to coaching football, l have never bought into the concept of leading through fear for a few reasons. First, it is understood that the men in the room are in competition to retain their position based on how well they do their job. It is a performance business! The players are evaluated daily and fully understand they can be cut or traded at a moment’s notice if their performance is lacking. That understanding creates ample stress which fans the flames heating the cauldron of spirited competition.
Secondly, why would you want to breed fear in fearless men? I often said if you are afraid of a man, I do not want you on my team. Men who can be intimated will prove to fall short in high pressure situations that require players to step forward, throw caution to the wind and perform. Fear breeds Caution! Caution breeds Hesitation! If you Hesitate you will be Defeated!
Thirdly, How long do you think that you can intimidate individuals that are inherently “apex predators wired to hunt”? I would rather be respected more so than feared.
So, how do you go about creating a leadership style more tangibly connected to respect than fear? I assert that the most impactful way to lead is to live it! The adage “Do as I say not as I do” is no longer an effective mantra because you lose the element of devotion which binds and that is Respect and Credibility.
When I was 10 years old, I recall an incident that underscores this notion. But it was not a lesson learned from one of the many great youth coaches I had early in life nor my father who has always been a man of integrity. It was my mother, Mary Evelyn Caldwell.
My mother was a health care worker who throughout her career climbed the ranks from a nurse’s aide, to licensed practical nurse (LPN), Registered Nurse (RN), to eventually become the supervisor of a nursing home in our region.
One day upon arriving home from work after a 7-3pm shift, she needed a few items to prepare dinner for us that evening. So, I walked with her to the corner store at the end of the block. It was a short walk. As I strolled along behind her, I noticed a group of teenage boys and young adult men who were congregated on the corner smoking cigarettes, talking loud with boastful bravado laced with profanity.
Many of these young men didn’t have the best reputation in the community. In fact, several at a young age had run afoul of the law and spent time in the local juvenile detention center. Others among the group were habitual offenders who at one time been incarcerated in a youth reformatory named Ethan Allen School for Boys located in Wales, Wisconsin. We referred to it simply as “Wales”. They were the outlaws in the small town of Beloit.
As we walked closer to where the young men were standing a strange thing happened. The guys facing in our direction dropped the cigarettes they were smoking and stamped them out on the sidewalk. They alerted those who were unaware of my mother approaching and they followed suit. The alpha male amongst the group, I will refrain from using his name, was known for his turbocharged temper, quickly stepped aside greeted my mother in a sincere respectful way. The group spoke in a low monotone until we purchased the items and left the area.
Mary stands just north of 5 feet tall and by all measurements a petite woman. But she lived by an unwavering commitment to fundamental Christianity. She was a devout member of the Church of God in Christ from a noticeably young age. I have never seen my mother wear makeup, or anything other than a skirt or dress below her knees. I have never heard her use anything even remotely close to profanity. Nor take part in smoking, drinking of alcohol, playing games of chance or even going to the movie theater. She never proselytized to those young men or any of my friends that visited our home about her beliefs. Unless someone inquired.
Consider a few more things about my mother, Mary, in relationship to that incident. At the time she was in her early thirties. She had never met or had conversations previously with any of the young men standing on that corner. We had only lived in that area for less than a year. Her persona resonated because she lived it. Her reputation spoke louder than words. She was and still is loved, respected, revered and admired.
Thus, much of my understanding of leadership has been based on the notion that you do not just “talk the talk”, you “walk the walk”. Great leadership requires a devotion to task, mission and ideology that can be understood by watching the man or woman in charge, lead their life. That is impactful leadership!